Love?
Whether we agree with the history of how Valentine’s Day came to be we consider the month of February the love month. We remember the importance of love. But in our society today how can you even learn or know what love is? Young people are growing up having no idea how to love a wife/husband, children, or even how to love their parents. We have a broken-down society.
So what is the definition of love? Where should we go to find out? Well, let’s start by looking at Webster’s dictionary definition as found on Google.
“Function: noun
1: a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another, like motherly love.
2 a: attraction based on sexual desire: the strong affection and tenderness felt by lovers b: a beloved person: Darling
3 a: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea> b: the object of attachment or devotion.”
It is interesting to me that although love is considered a noun it is described here with feeling words.
Love
There are 3 types of love in Greek that we are going to look at. There is eros, phileo, and agape love. Let’s explore each one a little. Your eros love is that feeling love. You remember what it was like when you first met your husband or wife. There was that fluttery feeling, excitement, and just that desire to always be with him or her. And there was also that physical attraction. There was a flame kindled. But as we know if you don’t keep putting fuel on the fire it will go out. The same is true of our relationships if we don’t continue to nurture it the flames will go out, we will lose our affections. And this can apply to any relationship, parent, child, friend, etc. If we don’t nurture our relationships they falter. Eros kind of love does not sustain a relationship over time.
So that is why we need to have phileo type of love. This is the type of love that is devoted. It is the kind of love that desires companionship. It doesn’t really matter as much what you are doing you just enjoy being with the one you love. Do you sometimes do something with your spouse, children, or friend that you don’t long to do? But you do it because you want to be with them. You love companionship.
But then there is a love that goes beyond eros and phileo. It is a love that we need and that is agape love. This love is the kind of love that gives with no attachments. You may never get anything in return but it doesn’t matter to you. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 sums it up well. It is a love that is patient, kind, it doesn’t envy or boast, it is not proud or dishonors others, it is not self-seeking, is not easily provoked or think evil. Agape love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, hopes, and perseveres. Agape love never fails. And the great thing is that if you have agape love it helps us with eros and phileo without having self-involved.
True Love
So is love a feeling? Feelings usually come and go. But what about true love, should it come and go? I would like to look at the true definition as God meant it to be, a love that goes way beyond feelings. If God had made His decision to send His only begotten Son to save us base on feeling, He would have never sent Him. He could have lost His Son forever. It had to be because of everlasting love. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” John 3:16.
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). This kind of love is unselfish love. Today our society is all about what can I get not about what can I give to the other person. I think that it is really hard for us to even comprehend what true love is about. Yes, we know Christ died for us because He loved us and wanted to spend eternity with us. But those are just words. How can you know? We have to experience it. The only way that we can truly experience it is to get to know Jesus. And allow the Spirit to indwell within us. This is not a love we can do on our own.
True love forgives that drunk that just killed my children. Genuinely true love forgives the son or daughter that rejects all that you have taught them and continues to love them. True love will love your husband or wife even though it seems they don’t deserve it. The true love of God endures ridicule and persecution. And is this not the kind of love God has. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you” (Matthew 5:4).
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such, there is no law” (Galatians 5:22, 23). Do you notice love is the first fruit of the Spirit? We cannot have the other fruits of the Spirit without love. And we cannot have Christ-like love without Christ through the Holy Spirit living in our hearts. Isn’t it great to know we don’t have to do this alone? Praise the Lord!! “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).
In Conclusion
When it comes right down to it, love is a choice, not a feeling. We need to choose to love even if we don’t feel like loving. That is why there are so many divorces today, lack of commitment and choosing to love even when times are tough. Now I want to clarify that I am not talking here about abuse. If you are in an abusive relationship you need to get out.
There are so many that just say, “I don’t love him or her anymore.” The next person looks more inviting. But the reality is that person will someday get old too and you won’t feel that zing anymore. Love is a choice. The bottom line is, “And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matthew 24:12).
This is not just happening in the relationships between husband and wife but also between parents, children, friends, etc. Because of iniquity in the heart, the love of this world is waxing so cold that even the life of a child does not mean as much as it once did. Every person is precious in the sight of God. And as we look at them we need to see Christ hanging on the cross for them. We need the love of Christ in our hearts and the only way we can have it is through the indwelling of His Spirit.
Dear Father,
I praise You for the power and might that You have to change hearts. Thank You for showing us true love and what it looks like.
You have changed the hardest of hearts. And You are faithful to work on the hearts of those that are hard and softening them so that they can see what true love is all about.
You have promised, “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them” (Ezekiel 36:26, 27). And You have also promised to give Your Holy Spirit to them that ask.
Lord, You know that we struggle with having Your kind of love. And we know that we cannot have this kind of love without Your Spirit dwelling within us. I am asking that You send Your Spirit to dwell in each of us. Lord, soften our hearts, making our hearts a heart of flesh. Give us Your love so that we can love others as You would love them.
I praise You for hearing my prayer. Thank You for what You will accomplish in each one of our lives.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Ask for the indwelling of God’s Spirit today and every day. He will do a work in you that is beyond human possibilities.
Love you all.
Have you experienced a time when you knew God had given you the love for another person? I would love to hear your story. Share it below in the comments.