It seems that hardly a week goes by and I hear about someone getting married. I am sure as you read this you probably have more than one person come to mind that is either getting married very soon, has recently gotten engaged, or has recently married.
A few days ago somebody I know got married. Although I was unable to attend the wedding it makes me think of weddings that I have attended.
I love the beauty of a wedding and to see all the diversity of wedding ideas that come out of different personalities, cultures and backgrounds.
I can picture the happiness of the bride preparing herself for her soon to be husband. I love it when the groom does not see his bride until she is fully prepared. The brides beautiful white dress, representing purity and her hair beautifully done. She has prepared herself in the most beautiful way. She is radiant with love for her husband to be.
The groom is anticipating his pride walking down the aisle toward him. He will have the privilege of her being with him forever, “until death do us part”. He is full of excitement and a desire to take care of the one that he loves and has longed to be with him.
We live in such a sad society now. Relationships are such a walk in, walk out mentality. There is no commitment. There is no ideal. There are many selfish people who just want what they want. As soon as they get tired of it they want to throw it away. There is not commitment in marriage like there once was. Unfortunately this also applies to Christians as well.
How can this be? The devil knows that if he can get the marriage and family he can take down the church. He knows that the marriage is what God has given us to represent our relationship with Him. So if Satan can corrupt our thoughts of marriage and how it is supposed to be, he can corrupt the thinking of people about how our relationship needs to be with Him.
Here are some steps you can take toward a good marriage to your spouse as well as a good marriage between the church or Christian and Christ.
- “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church andgave Himself for it.” Ephesians 5:25. This is a very tall command. This is a command for Christian men. Just like Christ continues to love us no matter what we do, husbands should do the same for their wives.
This will be a very hard thing to do at times. Husbands can only do this with a full surrender to God and being totally dead to self. This is a commitment that God expects of Christian men.
In 1 Peter 3:7-12 it reads, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them (wives)according to knowledge (understanding), giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” It is frightening to think that, as men, your prayers are hindered if you do not live with your wife in an understanding way. It may be a time of reflection and surrendering to God’s plan for marriage.
This can be so challenging. Dying to self is such a key. There are wives that are very challenging. And it will take a lot of love and patience. And only God can help you love as He loves.
When you are struggling with doing these things think about what Christ has paid for you. Have you been that perfect “bride”? Does Christ love you even though you have spat in His face, even though you have argued with His ways?
- “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the
Lord.” Ephesians 5:23. When a husband truly loves his wife as Christ loves the church this becomes way more possible. If a wife feels loved and understood it is easier for them to feel safe in the decisions of their husbands and to submit to those.
As a wife you may be asking, “I do not understand, my husband is asking or
telling me to do things that are contrary to the Word of God and/or he is beating me physically or emotionally and you’re telling me I need to submit.” Let me make this clear, there are criteria for submission.
In Colossians 3:18 it reads, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” The bottom line, what they are doing or asking you to do needs to be in accordance with God’s Word. If it is not and it is against God’s ways, “We ought to obey God rather than man.” Acts 5:29b.
God does not want wives to be doormats that are walked all over and beaten either physically or emotional that is not His plan.
We as wives need to be submissive to God first and then to our husbands. We need to die to self and be willing to listen to our husbands as to God if they are not asking us or doing things contrary to God’s Word.
All of us as Christians need to be submissive to God in this way.
There are many other things that can be said on how to have a good marriage but I am only touching on these today. I will touch on more in the future.
Just like we prepare for a marriage here on earth there is a marriage feast that we are to be preparing for as Christians.
Christ loves us just as a husband is to love a wife. He loves us unconditionally. Just as a husband is supposed to sanctify, and cleanse his wife with the washing of water by the Word so that he might present her not having a spot or wrinkle, that she is holy and without blemish (Ephesians 5:26-27), so Christ does for us. And just like a wife needs to be in submission to her husband for this to take place, we need to be submissive to God for Him to be able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The only way a husband can do this for his wife, with love, is if he is in full submission to God. And the only reason Jesus can do this for each one of us is because He was and is in full submission to His Father.
Is this an easy path? No, dying to self is a battle. But God is able to provide the strength if we submit our lives fully to Him.
Dear Father,
We have great need of you. We cannot do any of these things without You. Come and heal our marriages and our families. As we have the marriage that you would have us have and a family that is well-ordered, we can be a true light to the world for You.
Thank You for Your unconditional love.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
I don’t remember exactly how the saying goes but it goes something like this, “Couples that pray together, stay together.” In this world of no real commitment let’s commit to God’s ways in our marriages.
What things have you done to keep your marriage alive?