Have you ever…
Have you ever said or done something that you wish you could take back? And whomever you said or did it to has made it very clear that they want nothing to do with you? Or maybe someone has said or done something to you and you have let them know that you’re done. You don’t want anything more to do with them.
This can also happen if a person feels like another person is not what they should be. They don’t act like me or think the way I do so they must be mean or evil. I want to feel comfortable with the person that I am with so I will shun anyone that takes me out of my comfort zone. This doesn’t always come with words it can just be an obvious shunning.
Sad
Since we have had two recent deaths in my family this has hit close to home. In both cases, we spent time with family, some of which we have not seen in years. But one thing stood out is the division within the family. Someone said or did something I didn’t like so, therefore, I do not want any more to do with them. Or their lifestyle or how they think about things is different than me so I am just going to write them off. The sad part is that some of these people claim to be Christians.
And what makes me even sadder is the fact that this takes place within the Christian church as well. I see people that are struggling spiritually and others shun them because they don’t fit their criteria. And what happens eventually to the ones that are struggling? They leave the church and a lot of them give up Christianity altogether. Why would they want to be a Christian? They have gotten a false picture of what Christianity is all about through people who claim to be Christians. But the reality is, if we are not being like Christ we are not Christians. So what constitutes a true Christian?
Story
I want to share a story I recently read as an example of a true Christian. This story took place during the genocide in Rwanda.
“‘I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.’ (John 10:9–11)
Several years after my family returned from mission service in Africa, I was working in the in Portland, Oregon. The genocide in Rwanda had taken place about four years before this. When we heard about it, we felt sick. We had been to Rwanda. We thought it was an amazing country and had many Christian friends there.
One day a visitor came to my office. Her name was Adele, and I noticed that she had a big scar on her forehead. Adele had just come from Rwanda to visit her daughter in the United States. She wanted to tell me her story.
Adele had been married to a pastor in Rwanda. When the genocide started, she, her son, and her husband ran to the church with many other church members, thinking they would be protected there. Similar attacks, but on a much smaller scale, had happened years before, and at that time the people had fled to the churches for safety. As the members were praying inside the church, thugs came and surrounded the building.
‘You have to come out!’ they yelled to the people inside.
They asked for the pastor, Adele’s husband, so he went out. ‘We’re going to kill you!’ they said.
‘Can I pray for you first?’ he asked.
They agreed, and he prayed for them. Then they took a machete and dealt him a deadly blow to the head. In a rain of terror, the machetes and other weapons began swinging upon the defenseless church members.
Adele looked over and saw her son raise his hand to wave goodbye to his mother. Just then, his arm was cut off. Moments later, he was hit and killed. All of a sudden, Adele went unconscious. She was hit in the head, and that is why she had the terrible scar.
Three days passed, and someone who was walking by saw a little movement among the piles of decaying bodies. The person went over, touched Adele’s body, and found that it was still warm. She was still alive!
He picked her up, put her in a little Toyota pickup, and took her to the dispensary. While she was recovering at this little hospital, she had a dream. In the dream, she was in heaven. Jesus spoke to her and said, ‘Look and see.’
She looked and saw her son and husband. Jesus said, ‘It’s going to be all right—you’re going to see your family in heaven.’
That assurance gave her such courage and hope. ‘It’s the only way I survived all this,’ she told me later.
Adele got well and returned home. About four years later, she was at the marketplace in her village. Looking down toward the end of the vendors’ tables, she saw a young man with long, matted hair. He had been hiding out in the jungle. As she looked at him carefully, she recognized him as a young man who her husband had baptized—the same young man who had killed her son!
Adele walked up to him, and he began to tremble. He thought, of course, that she had been killed in the genocide. ‘What are you going to do to me?’ he quivered. People were starting to turn around to look.
All Adele had to say was, ‘You killed my son,’ and they would have killed him right there. Instead, she said, ‘You come with me now.’ Trembling, the young man followed her to her house. ‘What are you going to do to me?’ he asked again.
‘Just sit down,’ Adele said.
She got some water and began to wash him and cut his hair and clean him up. She gave him some food. Then she took some of her son’s clothes and said, ‘Put these on.’
‘What are you going to do to me?’ the young man repeated, almost frantic.
With tears in her eyes, Adele said, ‘I have no one, and you have no one. You have killed my son, so now you must become my son.’
Then they had prayer together, and they wept together. About six months later, the young man was put in prison for killing other people. Every week Adele would go to see this young man in prison and take him food and clothes.
I have since been to Rwanda and visited Adele. She has told her story at my meetings there. It is an amazing story. Adele is a living example of the greatest miracle of all—the miracle of forgiveness.
Through faith we receive the grace of God; but faith is not our Saviour. It earns nothing. It is the hand by which we lay hold upon Christ, and appropriate His merits, the remedy for sin. And we cannot even repent without the aid of the Spirit of God. The Scripture says of Christ, ‘Him hath God exalted with His right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.’ Acts 5:31. Repentance comes from Christ as truly as does pardon. (DA 175)”
— Elder Duane McKey
Forgive
This is an amazing story to me and really shows us the power of forgiveness. This is not something that we can accomplish through our own strength. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us that we can accomplish this. Probably a lot of us, after reading this story, have realized how small our trials are. It can make us wonder why we have not forgiven.
One of the reasons that we find it so difficult to forgive is pride. We feel that we have a right to feel the way that we do so we keep not forgiving. We can think, “If I forgive them they aren’t going to change.” It has nothing to do with them changing, it all has to do with us. As it says in the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”. God does not forgive us if we do not forgive. (See Matthew 6 9-13) We can’t edit His prayer to our liking.
It makes it even more clear in Matthew 6:14 & 15, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
We even deny that we have not forgiven. We say we have forgiven but then we shun them. This is not true forgiveness. Does Christ shun us? And as Christians, we need to be like Christ.
What makes me even sadder is what will happen within the Christian church. People shun people because they do not think as they think, which is really a part of forgiving. Their thoughts are that if you are a Christian you should be doing this, this and this. And because you are not doing those things they sometimes politely, but others times not so politely, ignore you. You suddenly are no longer their friend. They may reason that they are trying to protect themselves from false but the reality is they are not being like Christ.
If we think a person is doing something that will keep them out of heaven should we shun them for fear of contamination? The answer is a clear no. We need to be their friend and be a living example while reflecting Christ. Love them and when they see a reflection of Christ in our lives they will want what we have. But if they only see a critical spirit they will run the other direction as fast as possible. A critical spirit does not draw to God and is not of God.
There is something very important to remember. The parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25, they were all doing the right things. They were all good Christians, even the foolish virgins. Many scholars today, which I agree, believe that the oil in the parable represents the Holy Spirit. As I see it we can do all the right things but still be lost. If we are not doing them with the power of the Holy Spirit working through us and we are just doing them on our own we are like the foolish virgins. We are out of oil (The Holy Spirit). And we are not any better off than the person we are critical of because they don’t do the things that we are, which to me is unforgiveness.
If we really grasp the meaning of all this, we will be on our knees praying for others and loving them instead of pointing fingers. In our hearts, we will be forgiving them and being a living example of Christ-likeness.
But how can I…
The reality is we cannot forgive and be a Godly witness, without judging and pointing fingers unless we have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
- Prayer
Prayer is the key that unlocks heaven for us. We need to spend much time in prayer. In order for God to hear us, we need to make sure that we do not have any iniquity (sin) in our lives. Whether it is thoughts or actions. “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:” (Psalms 66:18). So the first thing we need to do is confess before God specifically anything that we have done that has been displeasing to Him. We may not even know what it is we have done. Maybe we have forgotten or we are not aware of some things we are doing that are displeasing to Him. We don’t need to worry. We can ask Him to show us and He will reveal to us anything we need to confess.
As we come to God in confession He will forgive. Then we are able to ask anything according to His will and He will hear and answer. “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us. And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him” (1 John 5:14,15). This is such a great promise.
Now we know that we can ask for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit so that God’s will can be worked out in our lives. “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (See Luke 11:9-13)
We know that it is His will that we forgive others and that we have a love for one another. So we can ask God to give us forgiveness through the power of the Holy Spirit. And we can ask for His love to flow through us. “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35). We need to power of the Holy Spirit to accomplish this in our lives.
- God’s Word
We need to spend time in God’s Word. And we need to do more than just read the surface. We can be on a schedule of reading the Bible through in a year but are we really getting something out of it. Take the Word verse by verse and don’t move on until you understand what you are reading and how you can apply it to your life.
- Memorize Scripture Verses
Memorizing Scripture verses, for when those times of temptation or discouragement come, can help you through. I recently heard someone share about reading through the book of Psalms. A lot of what is in Psalms are prayers. The suggestion was to read a chapter a day or less splitting the longer ones into two or three days. Choose a marker color for promises and as you read underline the ones that speak to you as a promise. This may be different for each person. Then when you are in a time of prayer you can claim those promises. Start putting those promises to memory so when you are in need of prayer, no matter who you’re with or where you are, you have a verse to claim.
Conclusion
As I said earlier my heart aches. We have but a short time upon this earth whether we die at the average age of 80 or the Lord comes. Life is way to short to not forgive and love. Others may not forgive or love us but it all starts with each one of us. We have to look at ourselves and allow the Lord to change us. And as we are changed there is a higher chance that those we love will also change. But God gives everyone the freedom of choice to change or not to change and we have to have that same kind of love that God has.
The thing that is great about the forgiveness and love that God works in us through the power of the Holy Spirit, it brings us happiness. It gives us a freedom that is so amazing. The stress of holding on to unforgiveness is a heavyweight and when it is gone, what a relief.
Dear Father,
We need the power of Your Holy Spirit. As we come to You with a heart that is open to Your forgiveness and Your will we ask for Your leading in our lives. We ask You to give us Your Holy Spirit. Give us forgiveness and love for others that only You can give.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Come to God today confessing and then asking for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit so that you can have the power to forgive and love others.
Love you all.
Have you had an unforgiving spirit that the Lord has helped you overcome? Share the results below.