Mothers, what does it mean to be a mother? I tried to look it up in the dictionary and I found that the definition of mother has changed over the years. There are many that take the role of a mother to someone. Just because a woman gives birth to a child doesn’t make them a true mother. By definition it may classify her as a mother but what is a true mother. I believe a true mother is any woman who gives of her time, love and energy to a child, teen or even grown up. There are many that are adults who have never really had the love of a mother.
I was very fortunate to have a mother that has given me her time, love and energy. She has been my mother all my life; she has never given that role up. I remember just a few years back when I was so sick some doctors thought I was going to die. The doctors could not figure out what was wrong with me. With a husband and five children I needed, not just assistance but all out help. My mother came lovingly every day and ran my household for over a year, fortunately she lived next door. I also would call her in the middle of the night because I was doing so poorly and she would come and sit with me massaging my feet until my fever would go down and I could fall asleep. She never once wavered. She was strong for me. She gave me love, time and complete support, running not only my household but her own as well. She was there for my children encouraging and comforting them. I thank God for my mother.
So what is the definition of mother? I cannot take the time to give everything but I am going to name a few. These are things that can be a struggle at times but we as mothers should strive for them. Here are five of many steps that I believe are important.
- Unconditional Love. Our children need to know that they are loved no matter what they do. We don’t have to love the behavior but they need to feel the love from us even when consequences have to be given. This can be a struggle at times but God can give us that love. God has given us unconditional love and we need to do the same.
- Speak Kind Words. I know I can struggle with this. Our children can be so frustrating to us at times that it can be hard to speak kind words. They come at us with unkind words and we can tend to send it right back to them. I heard a parent say, “Well they spoke this way to me.” I say, “Grow up.” We are supposed to be the example and when we take on the attitude, “Well they are doing it.” We are acting like children not adults. I guess some adults really don’t grow up.
- Saying, “I’m Sorry.” It is true that we are going to make mistakes, there is no question about it. It isn’t about the mistakes it is about what we do about it. We need to be able to admit we were wrong and ask forgiveness, with no strings attached. You might be saying, “What do you mean by that?” Some can have a tendency to make excuses when they say I am sorry. For example, “I am sorry but if you hadn’t yelled at me I would not have spoken to you in that manner.” We have to take full responsibility for our actions regardless of what the child has done. For example, “Son, I am sorry for speaking to you in a harsh way, you are special and you never deserve to be treated that way. Would you please forgive me?” Period, end of story. We never have an excuse for treating our children any differently than Jesus would treat them.
- Spend Time With Them. We need to spend time with our children. It doesn’t matter how old they are they need time. When they hit those teenage years spending more time with them may be necessary. How we spend time with them may change but time is still necessary. It may be just communicating with them or being involved with their interests. Showing that you care by being there for them, through the good, bad and the ugly.
- Pray With Them And For Them. This is an aspect that is so important. I try to make it a habit to go and pray with each child before they go to bed. I have a range from 25 all the way down to 12 still living at home and I do it with each one. There are some nights I forget but I do it fairly regular. I also try to make it a habit to pray with each one that is leaving for the day before they leave. It is well that we have secret prayer for them as well. We live in a world where our families are bombarded with so many things they need the protection of God. We never know when they walk out the door if we will see them again and we need to take advantage of every opportunity to pray with and for them.
You may be thinking, “Wow, she has it all together.” No, I really don’t, these are things I am striving for. I am not perfect at all these but with God’s help I am striving to make each one of these steps a part of my life.
Dear Father,
You know as a mother in this world today it can be more stressful and painful than ever. I ask for a blessing on each one of us as we strive to be more like You. Help us in being more loving and kind to our children and to lift them up to You in prayer. You are all-powerful and You can accomplish in our children those things that we are unable to do, thank You.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Let’s draw closer to Jesus so that we can properly reflect His character to our children.
How was your mother been a blessing to you? I would love to hear your story. What have you learned to be helpful in your parenting? Ideas that will help us to be better mothers are what we strive for so please share your ideas with us.